Skin Deep Stories | 009

Welcome back to another episode of Resilient AF with Blair and

Alana. With Blair and Alana. I love it. Hello.

Hello. I love when it's, like, our griefy gal sister recording time

because, you know, when I'm recording episodes with guests and Alana's not

here, I say, Resilient Day with Blair and Alana, but no Alana. But

we do have. So I am. Here you are.

And this is one of my favorite topics we're gonna talk about, and it's

not gonna be the last time we talk about this. But today, we're

gonna talk about, tattoos. Mhmm. And

I really do believe every tattoo has

a story. Sometimes the story emerges in

hindsight. Some of us have no tattoos. Some of us have many

tattoos. Some of us have had our tattoos removed or covered up.

And, Alana and I are very different, very, very different. And we're gonna

talk about Alana's first tattoo and my I don't even know how many tattoos I

have. And we're gonna talk about

the inspiration for Resilient AF Skin Deep

Stories. So by now, you've heard our commercial. It's been running in every episode.

You may have seen it posted on social media, but we're gonna just

share our journey with tattoos and how we got to

the idea of creating this, like, beautiful coffee table style

book. Mhmm. And Alana is my

my younger sister, and and I I wanna share the like, a

really high level of story, and I wanna know what, like, her memories of

this. So being a child of divorce

and, the daughter of a man who lived with addiction, who I basically thought stopped

loving me, I just, like, wanted his attention,

male's attention, wanted to be cool. Like, I don't know. I had a lot of

trauma. I have a lot of trauma. But I made the decision

that in grade 10, I wanted a tattoo. And my

dad didn't raise us. Her mom did. And I I said, mom,

I wanna get a tattoo, and she's like, no. And I was like,

yeah. I wanna go. And she said, your dad would never take you. And I

said, yeah. He would. And she said, no. He wouldn't. And I

said, yeah. He would. And she's like, go ask him. So I said, dad, will

you take me to get a tattoo? And he's like, yeah. Sure. I'll take you

Friday. And so I just went to the nearest place

to my high school and picked something off the wall,

modified it a bit. And that Friday, I

believe my friend Jeff, Thea, maybe someone else, I can't remember. And if

it was you, please let me know, and my father are all

in gravity. I remember it was called gravity. It doesn't exist anymore. And there

I was, lo and behold, getting a tribal sun tattoo to my body.

Some of us may know it as a tramp stamp, but I was on my

lower back. And no one I knew at this time had a tattoo. It was

just, like, Jeff Jeff had a tattoo or he got a tattoo. I think it

was, like, maybe the Motley Crue logo. I don't know.

Whatever reason, I got the tattoo. I wanted it. I

felt pretty badass. I was super cool. You know? And then I said, dad,

like, you need to tell mom. And so I guess he

told mom because and I knew she would be so upset because

tattoos are against our religion. My mom

was not for it. And, like, to make matters worse, my

father who she loathed took me. And so

I knew that her coming home from work that day was gonna be scary,

so I made sure I had friends over

to, like, soften the blow. And she walks in the house, and

she goes, show me, and I show her. And she's, like, that's disgusting.

You better call your grandparents. I'm, like, why? She's, like, baba and Zeta know

you have a tattoo. I called them and I said, you know what your

stupid son did? Your stupid son took my daughter

to get a tattoo. So I I, like, didn't care to piss mom

off, like, of course not. And I got on the

phone, Bob Alea, my grandma, our grandma was, like, next time just, like,

give us a warning. And then my Zeta got on the phone, my dad's

dad, and he was, like, I feel like I failed you as a

grandfather, and you should have came to us for advice.

And that's actually the only person I felt bad about, like,

disappointing. And I I broke a promise, which was to never get any more

tattoos, and so I broke that. But,

yeah, my mom was really mad, and she I don't even know if her

mom, like, ever knew I had it because her whole

thing was just like every time we were around Baba Ruthie, it was she'd be

like, Chad, cover. Chad, cover. And but, like, it was it was

shorter shirts. So, like, there was always some tribal sun sticking out, you

know, with my butt crack. But, my that was my first

tattoo. Do you remember that, Alanna? Yep. I remember that. What you

remember. I remember mom picking me up from wherever I was,

maybe, I guess, school. And, on the

way home being like, do you know what your sister did?

I'm mad at her or something along the lines. I'm like, what? And she got

us tattoo. And I just remember being like, oh, oh. And I remember

coming into the house and then, like, peeking in your room and, like, you had

a couple friends surrounding you on the bed in the corner. The pink it

was the pink room. Yeah. It was. I think it was Isaac and Seth. I

it was, like, some guys. I I honestly can't remember who it was. For sure

was there. I feel like there was a girl there. And Yeah. I yeah. I

remember just, like, the whole hullabaloo of Baba and Zeta

and, mom being so mad at dad, and I kind of, like, hid in my

room. I was like, oh gosh. Mom was mad. She was mad, and she

gave me the warning that she was mad. And I think there probably was a

part of me that was like, oh, well, I'm in the good graces today or

something. But you were always in the good graces. Yeah.

So, a little bit of a tattoo tour. I'm not gonna show them to you

because, a, you might be listening and not watching this. And, also, I'm in a

one piece romper, and, like, some of them are in weird places. But a few

years or, like, I don't even actually know the timeline right now, but

I did get a tribal sorry. I got my tribal on my lower back,

and then I believe in grade 12, I got the Leo symbol

on my in my hip, and I always forget about that one. And then I'm

in the bath. I'm like, oh, yeah. That Then when I was 19, I got

the a star on my neck. And,

and then I got when I I me and my my best friend, Heather, lived

in Greece for a summer, and I got a tattoo from someone, like, old

Greek man on like, his tattoo shop was on the beach. He

didn't speak English, but it stems from an old sailor tattoo, and it's like a

compass on my ribs. And then below that, I

have part of a Hebrew prayer for safe travel, which

I absolutely love it. People ask me what it is, and I often say it's

Britney Spears lyrics in Hebrew. But, and

then what did I get

next? Did I get my lion next? You may

have gotten your lion. I have a really beautiful portrait of a lion. And now

what this makes this one a little bit better is because, like, it will it's,

like, probably one of the most beautiful tattoos I have. Mhmm. And my

cousin, Susanna Fisher in Seattle, is

an amazing award winning tattoo artist. She did it. And

then, I also got,

on the other side of that so I got that right before the pandemic after

Shane had his heart attack. And then on the other side of it so I

have a half sleeve on my left arm. I have dogwood

flowers, and it's really beautiful. And then mom died.

No. No. You're missing 1. Which one? The cover up of the

tribal son. Oh, right. Sorry. Because I can't see it. Yeah.

Oh, wait. So that and, like, does a cover up

count as 2 tattoos? Yes. Because I had to sit through both. And, like, the

okay. So I have so I decided that I wanted to no longer

have a tribal son, but I fought so hard for that that I was not

getting rid of it. I'm gonna cover it up. And so Susanna

actually did a big feather, and I actually had to sit in 2 different sessions

for that. And I call it, like, my tail feather or my huge ass feather

because it's actually pretty big. So I got that before the lion.

Mhmm. And I got that before the dogwood, and then

mom died. And it's interesting because mom was so

against tattoos, and I'll never forget her saying I think you

weren't there, Alana, but she was saying, when I get like, so mom, if

you're if you're just tuning in, our mom died. Surprise.

Surprise. And she died quite fast, like,

learned she had cancer, died 3 weeks later. And I was taking her to the

hospital because she wasn't told she was terminal, so we'd at this time, didn't think

she was gonna die, but she's looked at me and says, once I get through

this, I'm gonna get a tattoo on my wrist that says survivor. And I thought

that was funny because I was like, I'll get a matching tattoo with you, and

then Alana can get the survivor. Yeah. Because I love survivor. And

You're just tuning in. But then, like, she went into the hospital, and, like, 4

days later, she was dead. And Alana,

until this moment, didn't have any tattoos. No survivor logo,

no tramp stamps. No no nothing. No. No.

And, how did it even, like, come about that so we we

got Alana and I got matching tattoos, the exact same tattoo in the exact same

spot. Literally, like okay. I'm gonna pass the torch to Alana

because she this is where Cher took her time to sit. Sitting in the

hospital. I think it was

the first day that we had with the 2 of us, we had 2 full

days together in the hospital. And you were saying you're like, I'm

gonna get mom's signature tattooed. It's so

pretty. And I'm like, yeah. It's beautiful. Well, this is after we learned she was

gonna die. Yeah. And I was like, I want it too.

And then I think mom's body wasn't even

cold before you set up an appointment. No. Because yeah. Okay.

So Alana Alana, I never thought would get a tattoo, but she, like, totally was

like, yes. I'll get that too. And I chose, which is funny because I

chose my right arm because I'm right handed, so I'm always writing and doing things

with it, so I can always look down at it. And Alana is left handed,

but she has it on her right arm too, which I love because it's such

a little system. But it's also matching. I know it's

matching, but I love I love, like, my reason was so I can see it

and yours is because it's matching. Yeah. Like

so it's like the height of COVID. There's still no there's no vaccines yet, and

I think, like neither of us at the time were living in Winnipeg. I still

don't. And I'm like, I don't know who tattoos. Like, the last tattoo I got

here is, like, gravitating. Den. Like, I don't remember. Yeah. And I think

our our neighbor's super our neighbor growing up was super tattoo y and

connected us to someone she knew, and that person got us

in right away. And, like, we we went there. We brought our cousin with us,

and she opened the place and gave us each the tattoo on our wrist of

her mom's signature. Not our 3 Was it our forearm?

Forearm. It's Yeah. It's our forearm. And it was

so mom died on the 23rd. The funeral is the 24th,

and the tattoos happen the 27th. I love that you know

that. Of course. I do. So so that that's,

like, Alana's only tattoo for now and maybe for

forever. Who knows? No. I have ideas. Oh, and so

okay. So my most recent tattoo is what kind of

sparked this this next book we're working on.

Mhmm. And so I'm a nice person.

I'm also, like, always a runner-up, never a winner type thing. Like, lately, I've been

winning. Like, my luck has changed. But when I was in grade 5, I won

an award for being a mensch, which is a nice person in Yiddish.

And I remember, like, walking into the gymnasium in grade 5 and,

like, seeing mom, and I thought that was really weird because mom would never showed

up for school stuff in the middle of the day because she worked full time.

And I am not an academic, so it's like, what award am I winning? You

know? I'm not, like, not, like I'm smart, but I'm not, like, the most

academic. And you're not athletic either? Athlete yeah. I'm not

academic or athletic. Because that's usually the other type of work.

Oh, right. And, so I won this award.

I vaguely remember going up and winning it. But, anyways, so I have the shoe

box. So when I'm feeling griefy, nowadays, I look through the shoe box, and I

found this picture of me winning an award. And I was just, like, oh, Lana,

like, so I FaceTimed Alana to show her the picture, and I turned it around.

And on the back of it, in our mom's very pretty handwriting, was a

message that she wrote almost 30 years ago that says, proud of

you. And I immediately felt, like, so overwhelmed with emotion,

and I cried. I was like, this is what I miss because my mom would

tell me every time she spoke to me how proud she was of me. She

would text me every day. And, like, I don't know. Like, I know I'm building

a global movement with Alana, but, like, there's no blueprint. And, like, I don't really

like, I know what I'm doing, but I don't. Like, I'm kind of, like, in

a paving the way situation. And, like, I never know if, like, what I'm

doing like, I know what what I'm doing feels right, but it's also

when someone when you're not getting, like, validation from your parents or,

you know, if you're doing these certain things and, like, you're not getting a certain

level of, like, confirmation that what you're doing is, like,

making a difference or on a trajectory that you're trying to

be on. It's it's discouraging. And I

know I miss my mom telling me she's proud of me, but I didn't

realize how much I missed it. And so when I got that picture, I just,

like it was, like, the message I needed to hear. I was getting ready to

do a 7 day hike on the West Coast Trail on Vancouver Island. I was

like, oh my god. I'm gonna get this tattooed on my legs. So when I

wanna quit on the hike, which will happen probably in the first few hours, which

it did, I didn't quit, I can look down and see this message. And so

I ended up getting it tattooed on me. And Alana loved it, so we started

making merch. What do you wanna share what you what what we made?

Yeah. Made hats that say proud of you and T

shirts that say proud of you with embroidered embroidered,

and I have both. And it's not just doesn't just say proud of you. It's

like the exact writing of my mom of our mom. Yeah. And,

you know, little did I know that this this would spark this idea, but

I shared the tattoo and on social media, and I

share lots on social, but what every time I share it and I share the

story behind it, people started sharing their tattoos and the stories of

resilience behind them, including, like, other loved ones who

have know, departed this earth and the messages and the writing.

And an idea dropped in, and when ideas drop in, you know, I

just go with it. And, I thought, you know

what? I'm gonna put it out there and if people are interested, we're gonna do

it. And so resilient AF Skin Deep Stories was born, and

it is the next book we are working on. It's going to launch, like, it's

Alana's actually going to write a story for this one, so it's super special

because Alana only writes, you know, some important words very

important words at the beginning of the book, but she's never shared her personal story

of her tattoo. Mhmm. And we're going to make a beautiful

coffee table style book where there's one full page of a picture

of the tattoo, and then the other page is gonna be the story behind the

tattoo. And we've, like, soft launched it, and we've, you know, already

had like, we already have people locked in. So it's super exciting

to know that people want to share their stories.

Definitely. It's yeah. And tattoos are

such beautiful things, and and sometimes out of hardships

is when people get these tattoos. And

I like Yeah. I said earlier, I'm thinking about tattoos,

and it's almost like I'm waiting for hardships to happen and I

shouldn't. Okay. So let's talk okay. So so I wanna know, like, what

are some of the tattoos? Like, I know, like, you wanna like, I know you

you I specifically let me just guess just from, like,

social media posts we share. My guess is that you wanna get some

sort of tattoo, to honor Molly, your cat. Yeah.

Yeah. So I saw this really cute

thing where it was like it's small and, like, it looks like a kind

of like a doily type frame and then a cat

inside, and I would love to have that on maybe my

my arm on my inner arm on my left side.

Well and, like, I think, like, I think find the right artist. Like, you

don't need to wait for some like, I think the monument is, like, you you're

loving life with Molly now, and I know she's getting older, but, like, we don't

need to wait until something tragic happens.

Right? True. Yeah. Like, it can be a celebratory Yeah. You know, like,

show it to her. Be like, look, Molly. You're on my skin.

Yeah. You know, it's so interesting because, like, I love I love that you already

are thinking about the next tattoo you want. And I think you

should get it sooner than later instead of looking at it and remembering,

like, you know, the Yeah. You know? Oh, no. This is, like, in honor

of my dead cat in the future. It could be like, this is celebrating her

life. My cat's life. Yeah. And and so

I think we've talked about this a little bit before. And so once I

am cleared too, AKA when my medication has

left my body that is preventing me right now, then I I got my

tattoos all on Accutane. Yeah. But I bring

rules. Yeah. I'm more of a rule follower. And I'm also the type

of person who, like, it would, like, scab over weird, and

I just have that energy. So Are there other tattoos that you're thinking of

getting? Well, we had talked in the past about,

like, getting, like, another, like,

one with flat similar flowers. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So we

talked about getting so, like, every birth month has flowers associated

with it. So we talked about getting, like, a thin, like, thin like,

fine line, sorry, fine line tattoo of us and, like, our female

cousins, like, getting a bouquet. Mhmm. So

that's something I've considered, and that's really it so

far. Yeah. Emphasis on the so

far. So far. Yeah. I know, like, me and my friend, I have

this one friend and, like, I don't I don't know. Like, I don't have her

permission to talk about it, but we've been talking about getting something small and matching.

And I definitely wanna get something to represent

accomplishing the West Coast Trail. I know I got the proud of you

before the West Coast Trail to keep me motivated. Lindsay, who I and

the group I went with, like, and Lindsay and I were talking about getting maybe

a tattoo, but I I don't know. But I was I've I kind of have

this idea of, like, the route isn't, like it was very stunning, but on a

map, it's not the coolest line, but I think it'd be really cool to get,

like, the map route just like the align, you know, somewhere.

But yeah. I don't know. I mean, I know that I probably

will be getting tattooed the rest of my life, and as things happen, I'll like,

the idea will drop in, and I'll feel inspired about it. And I

love I love that, like, the progress I've made from age

15 to, like, age 40, almost 40.

And, you know, yes, something crazy didn't happen, and then I got

a, you know, tramp stamp or, like, the story behind it is quite

hilarious. And the you know, or the star in my neck. I remember getting it,

and I think I have my ex boy my boyfriend at the time broke up

with me, and I just, like, wanted his attention. So I, like, made him come

with me to the appointment. Like, I the the

Leo symbol, like, yes. I'm a proud Leo. I don't I don't know why I

got it on my hip. I I don't I think it was all still along

the lines of, like, getting tattooed and kinda keeping it sort of hidden and, like,

being thinking I'm really cool, but, like, if you're in grade 10, don't get a

tattoo, please. Like I mean, and if you do, like, just get it something

something small enough that you can cover. But I'm

never gonna get any like, none of them removed. And, you know,

some of our stories about our tattoos, like, are very personal.

And, you know, I love when people ask me about my tattoos. Like, the

lion, I just wanted to get I I thought it was really beautiful. I'm a

Leo, clearly, I've just said that a 100 times. And,

also our dad's Hebrew name is Aryeh, which means lion. So

I just found it, like, really cool. Mhmm.

Yeah. So skin deep

stories. Anything you wanna add, Alana?

The only thing I would add is if you are considering a tattoo, just

know that our brains don't fully develop until our mid twenties. So

take that with what you will. Yeah. And if you get a

tattoo and you regret it, you can get it removed or cover it up. Or

there's a story there too. Yeah. Exactly. And, oh, one

other like, I speak Hebrew. I verified

what I was getting just to make sure. But if you're going to get another

language that you don't speak tattooed on your body, make sure

what you're getting actually means what it says. Another thing

is along those lines, if you're gonna get a tattoo of a

culture that you may not identify with,

maybe think twice. Oh. Yeah.

So, like, what would an example of something be?

And anything kind of, like, like,

even again, like, I think of more of those, like,

Mandarin based tattoos where people think

they're getting one thing and not. It's like, why are you getting that? Just like

thinking about that. Or, like, if you're getting something that might be

prominent, like, prominent style of tattoos in certain

cultures, like Yeah. Like, either, like, indigenous

cultures or whatnot. Just just think about if is this

something that needs to be on my body?

To wrap this up, I I have to say, like, I've seen some very

hilarious tattoos. And my very first serious

boyfriend had a ridiculous tattoo that he

eventually got covered up. And it was a joint, like a doobie with a face

running with, like, arms and legs, and it said, hi, h I g h in

quotations. That's funny. Very typical of this

person. Who knows? And, you know, every so often I'll Google him. I'm like, I

don't know. I wonder where he is, but I don't Actually, on that

note, another suggestion would be is, like, if you want a

tattoo, think to yourself, do I want this as a tattoo

or do I want this as a print to hang up in my room?

Like a joint running with a face saying, hi.

Just think I want this on my body or on my wall. I mean, no

judgment. Just yeah. Just a moment. Listening to this, maybe you want

it on your body, on your wall, and in skin deep stories.

Right? Nice judgment. Resilient Day of Skin Deep Stories, the goal

is to have 30 beautiful tattoos, stories,

the stories behind them. If this resonates with you, there's a link in the show

notes. You can go to the global resilience project.com, schedule a call

with me, Blair, and we can talk about if this is the right fit for

you. There is a nominal fee to participate because there's

lot of expenses that go into publishing a book like this. But,

which is gonna be very exciting. And, I I

love beautiful coffee table style books that showcase

art and body art tattoos and empowering stories.

So if this resonates, we wanna hear from you. We wanna connect with you.

In fact, actually, in the show notes, there's a link to directly book a call

with me. So, if you're watching this, it's below in

the YouTube. If you're listening to a podcast while you're driving, please pull over

and click the link. Don't look at your phone and drive.

And on that note, yep, listen to Alana. Think twice.

Should it be on your wall? Should it be on your body? Should it be

in our book? Yes. 3 3 3

3. Yeah. So thank you for tuning in to another episode of Resilient

AF with Blair and Alana with Blair and Alana.

It's great to be here, with all of you. Thanks for spending

time going on a tattoo tour without physically seeing all of them,

but maybe one day you will. Who knows? A tattooer. A tattoo.

Welcome to the tattoo, the captain sister tattooer. Mhmm.

And, you know, just know it's okay to not be okay. It's okay to have

tattoos you regret. Mhmm. Life happens. Shit

happens, but you're not alone. You're not going through it alone.

You don't have to go through it alone, and you will get through it. We

are here to support you and to be that lighthouse in the storm. And

friends, just remember, you are resilient AF.