The CATchup | 026

In my healing, the work I've done on my my grief for mom and dad

and Dave and the baby, like, I've done a lot of work, and I will

always be working on it. But Frey the Frey loss was

so fucking fresh. Mhmm. And so I

thought it was just really, really beautiful to be there and also to have the

people there hold space because I'm a griever too. Rachel's

a griever too. And, yeah, I just

I don't know. And it also just showed me that, like, there's no right or

wrong way to grieve and that society still isn't set up to

support us in our bereavement. And it's too bad that

we can't just have these experiences when we need them at that time and

of of loss. And instead of holding it in for a year, two years, four

years till you find the perfect place to grieve, what if we just were given

that society were to just give us that right after?

Welcome back to another episode of Resilient AF with

Blair and Alana. And Alana.

Alana. You know, we want to get an episode to you last week, but,

I've been on a journey, which we'll talk about, momentarily.

But it's it's your griefy gals here. Your sister's

here doing a little life check-in, a project check-in, update

on what's been going on in our worlds. We know you love to listen to

us, chit and chat, and we have

quite a robust update for you. So

Alana last time shared that she got a new

pet? A new Lenny. A new yeah.

A new pet named Lenny. And so, Alana, how's that going? How's

how's, having a second cat going?

Well, it's definitely more than having one

cat. Lenny is

has a very cute personality. He

is very playful. So him and

Molly are learning the ropes with each other because

Molly isn't as playful. And

so when Molly swats at Lenny, Lenny

will stand on his two back feet and, like, kind of, like, move his front

paws. Kinda looks like he's dancing because he wants to

play, and Molly is not having any

of it. Lenny sleeps on my head.

So boundaries are still a work in progress, and

it's getting warmer where I live in Winnipeg.

And so Lenny is loving the porch.

And I think it's funny because Lenny has a few different names, and Molly

even has a name for him. Oh, yeah. So

right when I got or right before I

went and got Lenny and brought him home, I thought, you

know, maybe I should check-in with

Molly and see if she's okay with this. So

as I do, I scroll TikTok and see all of

these pet psychics, And I'm just

enthralled. Like, months ago, I had booked one that was booking out until

October. So I do have one in October. But I

found someone named Cynthia, and

I booked in with her. So we had a little

chitchat, me, her, and Molly. And it's on Zoom.

Right? Over Zoom. And it was over Zoom. And so she

needs to just see the pet first.

Molly was not really being so cooperative before the Zoom, so

I moved myself to my bedroom. Sitting on the ground

showed Molly, then Molly wandered off. And so we learned a

few things about Molly.

We have learned that she identifies as

Christian and likes Christmas.

No. We're Jewish. We're we're We're Jewish, so I feel like

that's just her being passive aggressive because I always leave her on

Christmas to visit Blair.

I have learned that she

refers to Lenny as Phil.

Not sure why. Phil.

But she calls him Phil. So you know what?

That's okay. You know, it's funny because I know a couple of Phil's, and they're

all redheads. Really? Yeah. I think

any Phil I've known has had lighter lighterhead too. So

maybe his name was Phil in another life before it was

Golden Dream Palace Milan. Yeah. But some

really cool things happened, and I wanna share one particular story.

So we spoke for about thirty minutes. Unfortunately,

the Zoom didn't I tried recording it, and she tried recording it. It didn't

work. So I immediately recapped to Blair

over a voice note. One of the things she said was

that Molly is quite sassy and initially

said, you know, I have nothing to say, but my right ear

hurts. I was like, oh, that's weird. She doesn't, like, show

any signs of of ear pain, but I know that cats hide

pain well. And I was like, okay. Well, I'm taking her to the vet anyway

for a checkup next week because she she's a lot of

things going on. One of them being, being, low blood platelet levels

or thrombocytopenia. And so I take her to

the vet the following week and

doing a checkup. And my vet, she's asking Molly not asking Molly.

She's asking me how Molly's been. I was like, you know, she's good

and just a weird question. I went and saw a

pet psychic last week over Zoom,

and she said that Molly's right ear hurts. Can you just

humor me and and check her right ear? And she's like, was this

in person? I'm like, no. No. It was over Zoom. She saw Molly's face,

and she's like, okay. So she takes the

thing with the light and, like, looks into her

left ear. Left ear is completely fine. Nothing happening.

She puts it in the right ear, and Molly, like, moves her body like

she's in a little bit of pain. And my vet's like, oh, well,

that is very interesting. So then she

takes a cotton swab, like a Q tip type of thing, does it

again. Left ear, nothing. Right ear, same thing.

She did it one more time. She's like, you know, maybe it's a bit inflamed,

but that is wild. And so she went and told everyone

back backstage, I wanted to say, behind the

room, wherever the techs are, and told them about it, and they

were all quite amused and amazed by it. And

Molly's a high roller high flyer there. She's

High roller. You're the high roller funding it. High

roller. That should be sponsored by Trupanion.

Yeah. And yeah. So that was a very

fascinating experience, and I was at the vet

a couple weeks later. You're at the vet at least once. I'm always at the

vet. Literally, I was at the vet last week. ER. Like Yeah.

I'm always getting something checked out. Molly literally was at

the vet three days ago because Letty scratched her third eye. Her third

eye? Sorry. Her third eyelid. Oh. Oh.

We just treated his pink eye. Well

but when I went back for the checkup, like, two weeks after,

the vet, her name is doctor Dorval, was just saying she how she was

telling everyone about this cat psychic experience.

Yeah. That's funny. I love that. And

Lenny. Like, he you know, Len, Gu

film. And I love that you have, like, a a legacy

pet named after one of our parents because the first one that was

named after our mom, Frey, died.

Yeah. Just like our mom. Went fast.

Yeah. It came so Frey was, like, my soul cat,

and, he helped me heal in ways that

nothing else was helping me heal. And I loved him, and I literally would look

at him every day and be like, I love you so much. You've

saved my life. Like, you have to live forever. Anyways, he didn't

live forever. And at two and a half years old, I

came home from emceeing an event, and he was

panting in a medical distress, and his back legs were paralyzed. And I

rushed him to a vet on Saturday night. It was a Saturday night, and,

essentially, he had a blood clot. I mean,

the only solution was to put him down. So it was

very traumatizing because all our other cats have lived to

be, like, 18. You know, like, Duffy's fourteen.

Molly's fourteen. Like, all our cats, like, live

long. So I it was completely unexpected. You know? And you're not the cat's not

a full grown cat till they're four. It was just literally

honestly, like, the pain was so bad. It was, like, worse when dad

died. And it was, like, regrieving mom.

And it was just it opened up a bunch of old grief, but, also, it

was just very like, my heart just absolutely shattered.

And it and so, like, that's just kinda where I'll leave that. And I did

a lot of learning because I bought Frey like, Frey was a rag

doll, and I bought him from the Kijiji. And I

didn't really know much about buying cats from

breeders, and I know that you could red be registered as a breeder because all

my other cats are, like, from barns or rescues. And so,

certain cats like ragdolls, they are more susceptible to certain diseases, and

Frey had that where breeders actually are supposed to test for

it. And so if a cat has that, you know, like, they they wouldn't have

sold it to me. And so it's been a learning curve,

honestly, like, not the way I wanted to learn these lessons. So,

of course, I have so much love to give, and we'll soon have one or

maybe two or even three new kittens in our life because I've

been talking to many breeders, and they're all getting back to me. Don't tell

Shane. He probably doesn't even listen to this podcast, so it's okay. Not.

But, and I'll I'll keep you updated, but I, like, I don't feel like it's

me replacing Frey, but, like, I have so much love to give. I work from

home. You know? I just, like, the and I have Duffy, and Duffy is

great, but Duffy is also, like, it's our cat, but it's Shane's cat. And so

it just feels like it feels like my heart's definitely

missing something. And so, now I know that

the questions to ask the breeders, and I know what to look for.

And it's definitely, like, an an unfortunate learning

experience and a really terrible way to put a pet down.

It was very, very traumatic. Like, Shane luckily, both Shane and

I were in town because we're we're both travel a lot for work.

And, but his phone broke because he, like, changed the storage

settings, and he didn't know that his phone would break from doing that. Like, he

basically had to reinstall some storage, but he

couldn't receive calls. And so when it happened, I was alone and he was out,

and I couldn't get a hold of him or any of his friends. And I

was, like, panicking and, like, speeding to the twenty four hour vet and, like,

crying. And it was, like, pouring rain on the highway. And, eventually, I called

his friends over and over again frantically, and someone eventually answered. And, like, they dropped

they got Shane into the car and, like, drove him to me. But it was

just, like, so many layers of traumatizing. Mhmm.

But so if you have gone through pet loss or if you're in it,

like, I'm sorry. It's terrible. It's absolutely terrible. But

there's no but. And what was really interesting was,

a few weeks later, I was about to head to,

Bali. Before we get to Bali, like, I feel like

we should take a a moment just to honor pet grief. I

think, it's not talked about the way

that losing a human is.

And Blair said something like that she was sadder than when our dad

died, and people might listen to that and have a

reaction. And that's okay. You're allowed to have a reaction, but the reality is is,

like, these pets were with them almost twenty four seven. Oh, it

was unconditional. Like, I got more love from that cat in two and a half

years than dad our entire life. And it was it's the pets

just generally, like, mostly, they should. I mean, I I shouldn't say all pets.

But for sure That's treated well. Yeah. Like And tested. Like, you know,

this unconditional love, this shadow, like, this the first thing I saw in the morning,

the last thing I saw at night, like, you

know, it can be more painful

to grieve a pet than a human. Mhmm. And that's

okay. And that's okay. You know, I told one of our family members I went

home to Winnipeg for Passover, and I told one of our family members that I,

like, was more sad about Frey dying than dad dying. Like, it just hurt more.

And they're like, oh, don't say that. I'm like, but that's how I feel.

Mhmm. Yeah. You

know, I think if someone is saying something

from their heart and they're grieving instead

of responding with don't say that, even if you might feel that because

your feelings are valid too, just say,

I'm sorry. That sounds hard. Yeah. Exactly. That's all you need

to say. Sidebar on the the the grief death talks,

today, time of recording, it's Sunday. It's actually bereaved Mother's

Day. Mhmm. What do you do you because,

obviously, I'm happy to have mom. I'm a bereaved fetus

mom. But you don't say, like, happy bereaved Mother's Day because it's

not a happy day. No. It's it's just a day to honor

those who've lost children. Yeah.

And, like, you know, Mother's Day is coming up, and that's a really hard one

for me because our mom is gone and my baby

is gone. And it's just a very complicated day for

me because, like, I wanted to be a mom, and I wanted

to be a mom with mom. Yeah. And

so it's like, you know, I'm a motherless daughter and a daughterless mother and

yeah. So I'm gonna I'm gonna be in the forest next. But,

anyways yeah. And and, like, just, like, I'm starting to get inundated with all these

Mother's Day ads. Ugh. The worst. And then

it's like, I they people do it from the kindness of their

hearts where they sometimes something some I

I was gonna say people. But, yeah, people from companies will send out an email

being like, let us know if you don't wanna know about, like,

Mother's Day, which is, like, nice, but that doesn't

that's only covering the email. If you follow them on social, if you've

like, you see them on Instagram, TikTok,

whatnot, like, it's still inundated inundated

inundated. And then just as much as that's inundated, it's also the,

like, oh, and, like, let's honor, like, those.

Social media is a mess on my website. Tell people, like,

if you're not in a good place, like, cut out those things that trigger you.

So maybe it's watching the news. Maybe it's social media. Maybe

it's muting or unfollowing those accounts or even just, like, reducing your social media

usage, which is, like, okay.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So Because I often say that to people too, like,

especially on Mother's Day, Father's Day, the day where

people are boasting about their parents, which sure,

they can. Or their partners, like Or their partners. Such a great

mom. That's what I would imagine that well, my husband

doesn't even post on social media. So so

no one would be writing that about me, but it would be true. I would

be a great mom. Yeah. But, anyways,

yes. Pet grief is valid. They are also like, if you feel like your pets

are your children, it's because they are. Like, they're your first

children. And, like, you know, every situation is different.

And whether you have the pet for two years or twenty years,

like, your sadness is valid, and I

invite you to talk about it to anyone who will listen. You don't have to

keep it in. And if you work in a workplace,

hopefully, you're allowed to take a bereavement day. I canceled

all my meetings for three days. I didn't show up to something where I was

supposed to, like, host a 200 person event. I mean, like, I let them know

I wasn't coming. I rearranged my schedule. I was just too sad to

function. Yeah. And, like, in the mid from the beginning, I

felt like, I just started having a personal issue, and then

I realized, no. I can actually share exactly what happened. Because first, it was, they're

gonna think I'm stupid canceling three days worth of things because my pet died.

And I was like, no. Actually, I'm gonna stand in my power with that. And

if they think it's stupid, that's not my problem. It's their problem.

Yeah. Mom stood in her power when Blackie, my rabbit, died

and took a day off work. So you

could take you could cancel those meetings. Yeah. You can. And

so right after that, something that had been planned for a while

was I was co facilitating a grief trip in Bali. And that

was such a beautiful experience. And I think, maybe I'll

I'll, if a future episode maybe will have Rachel on who is the

person who organizes this from happy grieving and grief trips, and we can really

dive in. But, it was better than I could have

imagined. It was just so beautiful, and the

healing rituals we did, and the the workshops, and the writing, and the

bonds we all created. And it was really interesting because a lot

of the common themes were, like, when people had these losses, they didn't give

themselves time or space to grieve, and they felt really alone because their

community, like their group of friends, coworkers, couldn't relate.

Like, they didn't understand the pain that they have. And so to

bring, you know, ages 23 to 61 altogether

in Bali from all over the world, we had Hong Kong, US,

Canada, and The UK. It was really, really

special and beautiful, and it was my first time co

facilitating a seven day event like that. And in November, Rachel and I

are going to be doing a two week grief trip in Australia.

But it was just perfect timing for me because I found a lot of

healing in that honoring Frey.

Because I am fairly, like, in my healing,

the work I've done on my my grief for mom and dad and Dave and

the baby. Like, I've done a lot of work, and I will always be working

on it. But Frey the Frey loss was so

fucking fresh. Mhmm. And so I thought it was just

really, really beautiful to be there and also to have the people there hold space

because I'm a griever too. Rachel's a griever too.

And, yeah, I just I don't know. And it also just

showed me that, like, there's no right or wrong way to grieve and

that society still isn't set up to support us in our

bereavement. And it's too bad that we can't just

have these experiences when we need them at that time and of of

loss. And instead of holding it in for a year, two years, four years till

you find the perfect place to grieve, what if we just were given that

society where, you know, to just give us that right after?

Yeah. I'm wondering, like, if you can tell us a little bit

about your favorite grief ritual

that you engaged in on the trip. It's

not a grief ritual. It's actually a life ritual. Oh, okay. And

it's my gratitude alarm, actually. So the very first

day, or the second day, the first full day, we went over the navigating grief

framework, which is a framework I created, which is like a checklist on moving forward

in your grief. The things that I wish I would have known as a high

performer, and I got a lot of positive feedback on that. But one of them

is a gratitude practice, And we all know that I love my gratitude. Every

day, 9PM, my gratitude alarm goes off. We list three things

we're grateful for from the past twenty four hours. And if you do this for

at least twenty one days in a row, your brain starts to rewire to see

for nine years. And, like, mom did it. Like, the last few words she ever

spoke alive was her gratitude. Dad you know, we did it the day dad

died. Like, Shane, when he was in the hospital, we did it every day for

three weeks with, you know, his 70 year old roommate and his

parents, Shane's parents and me. So when I talked about

this, my alarm would go off at 9PM. And if I didn't have my phone

all stop what we're doing. And it wouldn't even be me instigating it. Whoever I

was with would instigate it. And so every day, some so

sometimes we would be in a car and there'd be four of us. And we'd

get our driver, our Balinese driver who didn't speak English. I'd use Google translate, and

we would do it with him too. Sometimes we're at a dinner and it was

all, you know, 14 of us, and we'd all go around. And not

only is, like, something so every night we practice gratitude in whatever capacity.

But the last day, we went around sharing, like, what we're gonna

take moving forward. Like, what's something that we're gonna start implementing in our life to

Yeah. Start. And almost everyone expressed interest

in the gratitude alarm as one of the things. And so the grief

retreat was over last week, and now everyone's back in their

time zones. Every single day, the WhatsApp chat is blowing up with the

gratitudes at their 9PM. So they're still sharing it.

Oh, yeah. They're sharing it. They've set alarms. I get screenshots where it says gratitude

alarm. Everyone lists it, and, like, I got goosebumps telling you this just

now. So That's really sweet. Like, that that

is one of my most, like you know this, Alana. Like, this is, like, one

of my most, like, cherished tools. Even, like,

speaking I was speaking at a college the other day and, to hundreds of

staff. And one of the we did a gratitude practice where everyone partnered up, and

they did the gratitude practice. Because a lot of people don't even take the time

to think about what they're grateful for. So,

that has been something that has been really impactful to watch them and to even

be like so I was working, like, with someone, like, they needed an,

they needed some space held for them. So I left the room, and my phone

was in the room with everyone else, and the alarm went off. And so I

came in, and one of the girls was like, oh, your gratitude alarm went off.

We shut it for you. I'm like, okay. They're like, so let's do gratitude? Okay.

Let's do gratitude. Oh, so you really instilled that

practice in everyone, and it sounds like it's continuing. And it's

also a nice way for all of you to stay connected. Yeah. And I

think, like, I got a lot of really great feedback on that trip.

And something consistent was from the younger, like, get the age range. Right?

The younger girls were, like, who some people are just they're the grief

is very fresh. Like, they're still in the first year. And I remember in that,

I felt so hopeless and, like, I could never be happy again. And

the feedback I was getting was, wow. You've been through so much loss,

and it like, you can laugh again. Like, you

make jokes. Like, you're traveling. Like, look at the work you're doing, and you just

give me hope that I can feel normal again.

Or I can feel happy again. Yeah. It was really beautiful.

And, like, we got to do really cool things. Like, we went to, temple, and

we did a water ceremony. We, went scuba diving. I've

never been scuba diving. It was the most peaceful peaceful I've ever felt in my

entire life. So when Alana and I go on our next grief trip, I'm gonna

maybe go scuba diving with you. It was amazing. I would love to. Diving. I

lied. Snorkeling. Snorkeling. And then but, like, I saw manta rays that were, like, bigger

than, like they're, like, as big as school buses. And, like, I was like, I

am an actual mermaid, and this is amazing. And I got super sunburnt, and so

that was great. But, you know, like, we had experiences where we were, like,

peaceful at nature, walking through rice fields. We hiked to a

waterfall. We did different, you know, workshops and exercises, and we did a

Balinese fire ceremony. And we we went, you know, had different culinary

experiences, a cooking class. It was really cool. And so I'm excited to see

the future grief trips. Everyone's gonna be different. Every group brings a different

dynamic. And this is I felt like I was standing

in, like, right where I was meant to be. Like, I here I am doing

the work I love and the best way I love it, which is traveling.

Yeah. What I I really appreciate from what you just shared

is, how you

had your your own tools and

whatnot, and Rachel did as well. And you also

incorporated the cultural the cultural experience of where you're

at and seeing how different rituals in different places

are done, and I think that's beautiful. Yeah. So and

then, you know, I did pretty good at not getting, like, traveler's tummy. When I

got back, I definitely did, but that's okay. It's easier

when you're close to where you weren't home. But

but, yeah, that's kind of what's going on. And, you know, our books are still

filling up, and people are really excited about it. People,

you know, lots of inquiries about how to be in the book. And we're working

on some other projects that when it's time, we'll share what we're doing. It's all

very exciting stuff. So

that's like a high level update. Like, Lenny, also

is known as Phil. Molly had a sore ear that the psychic

detected. Frey died. I went I led a grief

retreat, a grief trip. I have another one coming up in November in

Australia. There's about 50% sold out. If you wanna join me and Rachel, I'll put

the link in the show notes. Mhmm. And is there anything else that

we need to update on? I mean, there's always, like every time

we record together, it's like, oh, Alana had another endo flare

or Well, that's, like, a weekly thing for you. That is. Yeah.

Remember my story about the sky train from a few episodes

ago? We'll take that, but put it in

a Pilates studio. Yeah. Lana, like, barfed in the Pilates studio. And

outside the So what are you gonna buy? What we were texting. Alana, what is

the thing you're gonna buy? Oh, the emesis

bags? Yeah. Alana's gonna buy purse size barf bags because Yeah. She keeps having

these barfs in public. And I it's like, you don't understand. Like,

there's no control. It's like, I feel it coming.

And I, yesterday, had to hold it in until I could get

outside, and then the woman working was so

lovely and helped me get a bag and all that. But,

yeah, they're these Emesis bags. They're coming tomorrow. They're travel

size, and they, like, stack. They basically look like

Molly's and Lenny's, like, glitter Yeah. The litter locker

vibes. That's funny. Well, yeah, and I don't know health wise,

I don't I'm I'm I'm in good health Great. For

now. For now. Which is great. Which is great. Honestly.

So that's it on the Kaplan sister front. Griefy

gals. Griefy griefing around the world. We have a lot of

great interviews coming up for you, in the next couple weeks.

Alana and I will pop back in in a few weeks. I'm sure there's gonna

be another very exciting update. Oh, because there always is.

Yeah. There always is. Do we have anything else we wanna share?

Where are you headed as per as this releases? Oh, I'll be in

Toronto. I am speaking. I am moderating a panel on

resilience and giving the closing bold talks of the closing

keynote, which I'll be sharing the story of the global resilience project.

I think. I think that's what they want me to do. I mean, that's what

I'm going to do whether they want me to or not. But I'm gonna talk

about, our journey on how we created this, but also what we did PR

wise. And because we do we do our launches very strategically

with billboards and Oscars and Emmy's gifting lounges and strategic

partnerships. So, I'm really excited to be able to share our community and our

growth and our goals, 200 plus women in Toronto

at a PR conference. And so when you listen to this, I might

be, sleeping or Toronto ing,

gonna meet up with some family and some friends. And then I'm

back. It's a hot minute trip, which I'm, excited because next

weekend, I'm gonna just, like or I guess the weekend coming up, I'm gonna just

be in the forest for Mother's Day. I'm just gonna hide in the woods. That's

lovely. And I will hopefully have hit my 250

Pilates class. What's the present you get for that? More toe socks? I think a

tank top, actually. But they might deduct you for

barfing in their studio. Well, I didn't make a mess in the

studio. Did you did you lose the like, you know how, like, you get

penalties? If you register, you don't go, you get penalties?

No. They just left me in the class. They just, like, they They're

like, you're barfing. You tried. It was like, you tried. You

also, like, go to, like, three classes a day. I'd

sometimes two, but mostly one. But, yeah, I go almost every

day. So, like, they it's okay because, like, you weren't you showed up

barfing. You're like, I'm here. Don't don't dig me. I tried. I tried.

I gave it a good effort, and I said to the instructor, I really

wanted to be inside the room right now. But instead, I'm

waiting for this wave to pass so I could drive the four minutes home.

Oh my god. Who's excited for Lana to have her endosurgery? Me.

Me. I'm really excited also. One more thing. So,

I there's this music festival called Base Coast that I love. It's like

an art music festival, kinda like a mini Burning Man in Atlanta. That's not really

her scene. And it's not really my scene anymore either, but I I love it.

It's just, like, such a great festival, and I have so much fun. And so

this year, I'm kicking off my fortieth birthday shenanigans there with the

theme, Lordy Lordy's still raving at 40, and I'm making Alana

come. But so she bought her finally bought her plane tickets. Uh-huh. But

she's just like, I'm on the list for a cancellation surgery. I'm like, you better

get tickets just in, that you can cancel. But Yeah. So Alana's either gonna

rave with me or be recovering from endosurgery.

Recovering. Which will you'll just be on different know what? I'll have my

MSIS bags with me. So At least you won't

be the only one barfing. Yeah. Just for different reasons. Yeah. It won't

be me, though. I don't barf, and I, like, I'm sober. So

Yeah. Anyways, lordy lordy still raving at 40, but I'm really looking forward to you

getting your endosurgery because, like, it's crazy how often

you are having these situations, and it's always while you're in public. Actually, the

last time you were at home. The last two well,

January and March, I was at home. Mhmm. So on that

note Sponsored by ondans at Tron. But

not really because you have to pay for it. Yeah. Just kidding. They're quite

expensive. Alright. Well, thanks for tuning in to another

episode of Resilient AF with Blair and Alana. If you suffer from endometriosis,

or you have a funny barf story, I don't know. Let Alana know.

Little Anna know. Let me know. I don't Yeah. Go with me. But,

let us be that lighthouse in the storm. Like, it is okay to not

be okay. Life is full of fucking really shitty moments, but also

beautiful moments and everything in between. And you will get through

it. Put one foot in front of the other. Let us be there with

you. And remember, you are resilient

AF. Bye. Bye.